The Private Eyes

The Private Eyes (1980), co-starring Tim Conway and Don Knotts

 Don Knotts and Tim Conway co-star in The Private Eyes. It’s a silly little comedy where they spoof the murder mystery in general, and Sherlock Holmes in particular.  Called from Scotland Yard, Inspector Winthrop (played by Don Knotts), and his bumbling assistant Dr. Tart (played with mindless abandon by Tim Conway) to solve the murder of Lord Morely.

The plot begins to resemble “Ten Little Indians”. The unknown murderer kills people off, one by one. With a not-quite-rhyming note left behind by the murderer.  It’s not one of the classic comedies of the 20th Century, but it’s certainly an enjoyable 90 minutes.  Gene Siskel described it as “A Perfect Saturday Matinee,” and I tend to agree with him.  For a different opinion, check out the editorial review from Amazon.com below.

Be sure to check out the funny Quotes from The Private Eyes as well.

Editorial review of The Private Eyes co-starring Don Knotts and Tim Conway, courtesy of Amazon.com

Don Knotts and Tim Conway star in The Private Eyes, a 1980 comedy about two bumbling detectives solving a murder. It’s an impressively incompetent affair. Every ancient joke falls with a muffled thud as Knotts and Conway ham their way through the pointless story: The lord and lady of a capacious manor are killed, and the lord’s ghost seems to have returned to knock off the staff one by one. There’s an austere housekeeper, a snooty butler with compulsive twitches, a sexy upstairs maid, a deformed groomsman, and a buxom young heir to the estate, who of course is going to be in some state of undress before the movie is over.

People get killed, their bodies disappear, Knotts and Conway wander aimlessly through secret passageways, dimly seeking some way out of this movie. Conway cowrote the script, so he gets most of the blame; Knotts was probably just happy to have the work. —Bret Fetzer

Cast of characters

• Tim Conway (The Carol Burnett Show, McHale’s Navy) … Dr. Tart
• Don Knotts (The Andy Griffith Show, The Incredible Mr. Limpet) … Inspector Winship
• Trisha Noble (Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith) … Mistress Phyllis Morley
• Bernard Fox (Munster Go Home!, Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo) … Justin
• Grace Zabriskie (Armageddon) … Nanny
• John Fujioka (Futureworld) … Mr. Uwatsum
• Stan Ross … Tibet
• Irwin Keyes (The Prize Fighter) … Jock
• Suzy Mandel … Hilda
• Fred Stuthman … Lord Morley
• Mary Nell Santacroce … Lady Morley
• Robert V. Barron … Gas Station Attendant
• Patrick Cranshaw … Roy
• Russi Taylor … Doll Voice (voice)