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Barney’s First Car

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Barney's First Car - The Andy Griffith Show
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Barney’s First Car – The Andy Griffith Show season 3

Barney’s First Car – Barney invests his life savings to buy his first car from a “little old lady”—and purchases a royal lemon.

Comedy highlights

  • The first drive in Barney’s car is hilarious. Especially with the audio. Although the steering wheel snaking up is hilarious as well!
  • Gomer’s list of what Barney’s car will need.
  • When they try to return the car, it breaks down on the way. Andy & Barney fall asleep, waiting for Gomer to tow it back to town. But one of the crooks tows the “abandoned” car back to their hideout. Andy & Barney place them under arrest …. And Mrs. Lesh nearly talks Barney into another clunker!
  • In the closing, a more cautious Barney insults another little old lady selling a car. She only drove the car on Sundays to church, of course! Barney’s throwing her out when her nephew — Pastor Temple — comes in!

Cast of characters

Funny quotes

Barney Fife: The last big buy I made was my mom’s and dad’s anniversary present.
Andy Taylor: What’d ya get ’em?
Barney Fife: Septic tank.
Andy Taylor: For their anniversary?
Barney Fife: Yeah. Oh, they’re really hard to buy for. Besides, it was something they could use. They were really thrilled. Two tons of concrete, all steel reinforced.
Andy Taylor: You’re a fine son, Barn.
Barney Fife: Well, I try.

First drive

Thelma Lou: I smell gas. Do you smell gas, Andy?
Andy Taylor: I smell gas.
Opie Taylor: I smell gas.
Gomer Pyle: I smell gas.
Aunt Bee Taylor: I smell gas, too.
Barney Fife: All right, all right, all right, you smell gas! Course you smell gas! What do you think this car runs on, coal?

Barney Fife: All right, is everybody set back there?
Opie Taylor: I’m all set.
Aunt Bee Taylor: I’m all set.
Gomer Pyle: I’m all set.
Barney Fife: How ’bout the front seat?
Thelma Lou: I’m all set.
Andy Taylor: I’m all set.
Gomer Pyle: Hope I don’t get carsick.
Barney Fife: [quickly but insistently] Opie, you trade places with Gomer. I want him near a window.

Aunt Bee Taylor: Oh, by the way, Gomer, how are you feeling?
Gomer Pyle: Sick as a dog, but having the time of my life.

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