Song lyrics to I’ve Never Seen Anything Like It, Written by Leslie Bricusse, Performed by Richard Attenborough in Doctor Dolittle
Blossom: I mean, I’ve seen the world!
I’ve been around
I could tell you stories
That would quite astound you!
I’m not a fool!
I went to school!
I’ve been from Liverpool to Istanbul!
Istanbul!
I’m no fool!
And anyone will tell you
That I’m sharper than a knife!
But I’ve never seen anything like it
In my life!
Doctor Dolittle: It’s a pushmi-pullyu!
Blossom: Is it?
Well, I’ve never seen anything like it!
I’ve never seen anything like it!
I’ve never seen anything like it
In my life!
Matthew: It’s the rarest animal on earth!
Blossom: It certainly is! Hey! Come back! Just a minute! Listen!
I mean,
I know the game …
I’ve seen ’em all!
I could tell you stories
That would quite enthrall you!
I know me job!
Pleasin’ the mob!
I give ’em what they want for just two bob!
Just two bob!
Well, that’s my job!
But this is so fantastic,
I can’t wait to tell the wife!
Gertie, you’ve never seen anything like it
In your life!
Come an’ look at this!
Doctor Dolittle: It’s a bicranium, madam!
Blossom: Arthur! … Vladimir! … Mavis!… Get out ‘ere! All of you! look at this!
I thought I’d seen every wonder in the world!
I’ve seen the coliseum in Rome
And the Acropolis!
I made the biggest blunder in the world!
Because I’ve never seen anything quite like this!
I’m down to earth!
I’ll tell you straight!
I could tell you stories
That would fascinate you!
I know the trade!
I know the tricks!
I once bought an elephant for two pounds six!
Two pounds six!
Taught it tricks!
But for your Pushmi-Pullyu,
I’d pay…
Three pounds! …
Four pounds! …
Five!
‘Cause I’ve never seen anything like it
That’s alive!
An’ I’ll tell you what! – I’ll even pay cash! … Cash, d’you hear?
Doctor Dolittle: I’m afraid five pounds wasn’t exactly what I had in mind……
You see, Mr Blossom……
Blossom: Call me Albert.
Doctor Dolittle: Albert, you see…
Pushmi-Pulyus are remarkable creatures.
Of all God’s animals, they’re the cleverest!
They develop these remarkable features
Running up and down Mount Everest!
Everybody: No!
Doctor Dolittle: Yes! it’s absolutely true!
Running up and down Mount Everest!
You see …
Running up and down a mountain
Gives them very nimble feet.
Blossom: Put ’em on the right rope,
They could walk a tightrope!
That’d give the audience a rare old treat!
Doctor Dolittle: And this extreme agility
Begets a rare ability
Shared only with the mountain goats of France
The Pushmi-Pullyu loves to dance!
[Song interlude in which Doctor Dolittle: and the Pushmi-Pullyu dance and then negotiate terms with Blossom…]
Blossom: I mean,
What can you say?
What can you do?
I knew right away
That folks’ll pay to view it!
I said to Ted –
“Ted, lad”, I said
“This thing’s the biggest thing
Since home-made bread!”
Company: Home-made bread!
Blossom: “To get that Pushmi-Pullyu,
I’m prepared to sell the wife!”
Only jokin’, Gertie!
Company: ‘Cause he’s never seen anything like it in his life!
Blossom & company: No, I’ve never seen anything like it!
Never seen anything like it!
I’ve never seen anything like it
In all my life!
Step this way, ladies and gentlemen! step this way!
Blossom’s mammoth circus proudly presents
The greatest single attraction in circus history!
Direct from Mount Everest, the one-the only …
The phenomenal two-headed performing Pushmi-Pullyu!
It lives – it breathes-it moves – it dances!
While goin’ in two different directions at once!
An Albert Blossom world exclusive – starts
Today! 4 shows a day an’ 4 on Saturdays!
The two-headed marvel of the age …
Albert Blossom’s amazin’ Pushmi-Pullyu!
A 2-headed treat for all the family!
Bring the kids, an’ granny an’ granddad!
First show startin’ in 2 minutes!
Company: I mean,
We’ve seen some shows
Lord, heaven knows!
We’ve seen every single thing
From this to Ringling!
Big shows ‘n’ small …
We’ve seen ’em all!
Even seen performers
Who were ten feet tall!
Ten feet tall!
And of them all,
We’d like to make it very, very clear
That we’ve never seen anything
Like what we’ve seen here!
No, we’ve never seen anything like it!
Never seen anything like it!
We’ve never seen anything like it
In all our life!
We’ve never seen anything like it!
We’ve never seen anything like it!
We’ve never seen anything like it!
In all our life!
Doctor Dolittle: Call me John.
