Minstrel Show lyrics – from the minstrel show segment in White Christmas, starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, Vera-Ellen
[Verse:]
I never cared about the drama
The drama always got my “hammer”
I came from sunny Alabama
Home of the Minstrel show
I think revues are always “bloomers”
They all depend upon costumers
You can have the plays
That are all the craze
At two dollars a throw
[Refrain:]
I’d rather see a minstrel show
Than any other show I know
Oh! those comical folks
With their riddles and jokes
Here is the riddle that I love the best
“Why does a chicken go…?” You know the rest
I’d pawn my overcoat and vest
To see a minstrel show
The lyrics to “Mister Bones” are as follows:
[Interloc’ter (Rosemary Clooney)]
Mister Bones, Mister Bones
How do you feel, Mister Bones?
[Bones (Danny Kaye)]
Rattlin’!
[Interloc’ter:]
Mister Bones feels rattlin’!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, that’s a good one
Tell a little story, Mister Bones
[Chorus:]
Tell a little story, Mister Bones
Bing Crosby: A funny little story, Mister Bones.
[Bones:]
How can you keep an angry dog from biting you on Monday?
[Interloc’ter:]
That joke is old, the answer is to kill the dog on Sunday
[Bones:]
That’s not the way to keep a dog from biting you on Monday
[Interloc’ter:]
How would you bring the thing about?
[Bones:]
Have the doggie’s teeth pulled out!
[Interloc’ter:]
Oh, Mister Bones, that’s terrible!
[Chorus:]
Yes, Mister Bones, that’s terrible!
[Interloc’ter:]
And now we’ll hear the ballad singer’s pet
A song we’ll ne’er forget
By the barnyard quartette
[Quartette:]
Yes, my darling, you shall be, shall be
Always young and fair to me
That’s a song that never will grow old
“Silver threads among the gold”
[Tambo:]
Mister Interloc’ter
[Interloc’ter:]
What is wrong with you?
[Tambo:]
I know of a doctor
[Interloc’ter:]
Tell about him, do
[Tambo:]
Sad to say, one day he fell
Right into a great big well
[Interloc’ter:]
That’s too bad
[Tambo:]
It serves him right
[Interloc’ter:]
Why speak in such a tone?
[Tambo:]
He should have attended to the sick
And let the well alone
[Quartette:]
That’s a joke that was told
By the minstrel men we miss
When Georgie Primrose used to sing
And dance to a song like this:
The lyrics to “Mandy” are as follows:
I was strolling out one evening by the silv’ry moon
I could hear somebody singing a familiar tune
So I stopped a while to listen
Not a word I wanted to miss
It was just somebody serenading something like this
Mandy,
There’s a minister handy
And it sure would be dandy
If we’d let him make a fee
So don’t you linger
Here’s the ring for your finger
Isn’t it a humdinger?
Come along and let the wedding chimes
Bring happy times
For Mandy and me