Song lyrics to Go West, Young Man – sung in Copacabana, Written by Bert Kalmar & Harry Ruby, Performed by Groucho Marx and The Copa Girls
Groucho Marx: Mr. Horace Greeley was no fool
I’m sure that you agree with me that Greeley was no fool
Chorus: What he is getting at is that Mr. Greeley was no fool
Cowgirl: The wisdom of the man can be denied by none
For he’s the one that said
Groucho Marx: Before you go to Buffalo to Baltimore or Borneo
To Eastern Pennsylvania or Sudan,
Chorus: Go West! Young Man
Groucho Marx: If you go to that land, sonny
You will have a lot of money
If you bring the money with you when you come
Chorus and Groucho Marx: To the lone prairie, yippi-yi, yippi-yi
Yippi-yi-yi-yi!
Yippi-yi, yippi-yi, yippi-yi
Before you read a travel ad
And scamper off to Trinidad
Too often in New York and Yucatan
Chorus: Go West! Young Man
Groucho Marx: In the East, they live on doughnuts
In the West, the natives grow up
And I guarantee you go nuts if you come
To the lone prairie, yippi-yay, yippi-yay
Yippi-yay-yay-yay!
Yippi-yi, yippi-yi, yippi-yi
A cowboy’s gal is a real true pal
She will stick to him right or wrong
Right or wrong
Groucho Marx: She don’t say nothing
And she don’t do nothing
And she don’t know nothing
And she don’t want nothing but a horse
And a cowboy, for she’s just keeps rolling along
Chorus: Go West! Young Man
Go where the equestrian chest, young man
Groucho Marx: You can ride a bucking bronco or a pony
You can cut a calf in half and make baloney
Chorus: Go West! Young Man
Go right up there and give ’em the very best you can
Groucho Marx: Don’t go east, don’t go south, don’t go north, have a care
Don’t go up, don’t go down, don’t go here, don’t go there
If you can’t get a seat on a subway
Chorus: Go West! Young Man
We suggest you go West, young man
The judges there are very fair, they always are of course!
A cowboy and his Mrs went to court for a divorce
The cowboy got the children and the Mrs got the horse
Go West!
Yi-hi!
Groucho Marx and chorus: Go west, young man!