Song lyric to The Wild and Wooly West, Music by Sammy Fain, Lyrics by Paul Francis Webster, performed by Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, Pat Crowley in Hollywood or Bust
Mississippi
Dean Martin: When you cross the Mississippi, cross the Mississippi, you’re in the wild and wooly west.
Jerry Lewis: Ya-ha!
Dean Martin: Anyone who wants to live ideally, take a tip for Horace Greeley, he said “Go west, young man”.
Jerry Lewis: He said!
Dean Martin: Thank you. Really, really hit the nail on the head.
[Instrumental music]
Missouri
Dean Martin: Here we are in Old Missouri, the folks of Independence …
Pat Crowley: Including their descendants, are friendly as a rule.
Dean Martin: Do tell!
Jerry Lewis: But stubborn as an old Missouri mule! Yee-ha! [points to mule as they drive by]
All: When you cross the wide Missouri, cross the wide Missouri, you’re in the wild and wooly west!
Jerry Lewis: Take a look at that old fashioned showboat.
Dean Martin: I could seize a nearer rowboat, I like convertibles the best.
All: We’ll be riding through the wild and wooly west!
Oklahoma
Dean Martin: Here we are in Oklahoma, produces much alfalfa …
Pat Crowley: Let’s celebrate it also for butter, milk, and cream.
Jerry Lewis: And incidentally, quite a football team! Rah, Rah!
All: When you’re out in Oklahoma, out in Oklahoma, you’re in the wild and wooly west!
Dean Martin: Ya-haa!
Jerry Lewis: Oh, there’s always been the sweet aroma of the corn in Oklahoma …
Dean Martin, Pat Crowley: Rogers and Hammerstein agree …
Jerry Lewis: That’s nice.
Dean Martin: Oklahoma’s got a lot of do-re-mi.
[instrumental music]
Texas
Dean Martin: Now, we’re in the state of Texas, the largest in the Union.
Pat Crowley: Per capita the richest.
Jerry Lewis: But more than this you’ll find …
Dean Martin, Pat Crowley: What will you find?
Jerry Lewis: The state of Texas
All: is a state of mind!
When you’re in the state of Texas, in the state of Texas, you’re in the wild and wooly west!
Jerry Lewis: It’s not necessary that you toil well
Ending with you own an oil well
Nothing in Texas but the best,
If you want a little gusher be my guest.
New Mexico
All: Santa Fe’s quite a city
New Mexico is pretty
The population perky
Jerry Lewis: And all because they found …
Dean Martin, Pat Crowley: What?
Jerry Lewis: They’ve got atomic power underground!
Dean Martin, Pat Crowley: If you’ve got the mining feeling,
Got the mining feeling,
You’ll find in Mexico the plum.
Jerry Lewis: You scrimp and save a large amount
And buy yourself a Geiger counter
Hoping you’ll find uranium.
Dean Martin, Pat Crowley: Uranium!
Jerry Lewis: If it don’t start ticking, hit the highway chum.
[instrumental music]
Arizona
Pat Crowley: Here we are in Arizona
The Mecca of the tourists
Dean Martin: They come to see the canyon
That nature has unfurled
Jerry Lewis: The largest excavation in the world
[listens to echo]
That’s pretty.
Echo: Thank you.
[instrumental music]
All: When you’re down in Arizona
Down in Arizona
You’re in the wild and wooly west.
Jerry Lewis: Get a load of Big Chief Running Water
Take his crazy teenage daughter.
Dean Martin: Man, she’s the rockin’ and rollin’ bear
Nothing wilder in the wild and wooly west.
[instrumental music]
All: The wild and wooly west
The wild and wooly west!